Reframing Negative Thoughts

Our thoughts, feelings, and behavior are linked and affect each other.

If we aren’t aware of this continuous interdependence, we can become stuck in a vicious cycle of thinking negative thoughts, feeling uncontrolled emotions, increasing dark thoughts, and being unskillful in our actions and interactions.  
Negative thinking can become so much a part of ourselves that we may not be able to recognize it as unhelpful.

Every past negative experience leaves a trace on our brains; when we are in similar situations in the present, these experiences will quickly reactivate. This cycle becomes reinforced every time this happens. Rick Hanson, psychologist and author of Buddha’s Brain says, “Our brains detect negative information faster than positive ones which means the brain is drawn to bad news.” Consequently, avoidance is programed into our brain because, over our evolution, negative experiences impacted our survival more than positive ones.

Some people cope by trying to avoid negative situations, but this isn’t realistic. Many, if not most, situations in life are beyond our ability to control. 

As much as we aren’t able to control external circumstances, we are, however, able to control our response to them. For instance, two people may experience the same challenging situation, but one is able to feel the stress and quickly recover, while the other may struggle during the incident and agonize long afterwards from the impact of it.  The difference isn’t the situation, but how they think about it.

So what is negative thinking?

Destructive thinking is only seeing the negative side of situations, ignoring good things that happen; expecting the worst; not being able to see things as neutral, but only in black and white terms; and believing you are the cause of problems. 

However, we don’t have to be at the mercy of negative thinking. This process can be disrupted.

In mindfulness terminology, the first step is to create a gap between your thoughts, speech, and physical action. Essentially this means taking time or creating a space between the provocation (incident/trigger) and response (your thoughts/actions/feelings/words). In other words, we first need to stop reacting.  

Then the second step is to challenge unhelpful thoughts.  See if you can find evidence that supports them. Usually we’d have the thought, accept it, feel bad, then either binge eat, complain, or get into an altercation. This time examine the thought. If you are worried, ask yourself is the outcome likely? What evidence do you have to support it? Could there be another possible explanation? Can you look at the situation from a different perspective?

Third, replace unhelpful thoughts with positive ones. Thinking positively isn’t about ignoring things not working, but about prioritizing the things that are working. This ability to reframe our negative thoughts (form a new perspective) about situations, people, and life experiences is instrumental in helping reduce stress and anxiety and create greater happiness in life.

Halt unhelpful rumination with opposite thoughts like: I can do it. I’m ready. I’m worthy. I’ve had previous experiences and come out okay. I won’t be a failure because I can handle the stress, pressure, or disapproval.

Also record your negative thoughts and the challenges to them. You’ll be able to use this in the future.

Reframing negative thoughts is about being flexible, noticing the thoughts and reactions as they arise in the present moment, identifying and separating from them, and reinforcing positive thoughts.

It won’t all happen on your first attempt, but you can definitely begin to master this process with practice. The effort and mindfulness that this practice requires will be worth it in the long run, as it will keep you from spiraling in negativity, and help you see that things aren’t as bad as they appear.
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May a new perspective help you live with positivity.

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