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2/28/2020 8 Comments

Freeing Yourself From Regret

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Regret is something many of us experience at some point in life. Wishing we’d done things differently like remaining calm instead of getting angry, saving money that we spent, being quiet instead of speaking, taking risks, and the list goes on.

If regret is handled correctly, it can become a motivator for change. If it is mishandled, then regretting our past action or inaction can distort our idea of ourselves, so we become trapped in feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, fear, and indecision.

Remorse can be a stepping stone to freeing ourselves from past mistakes, missteps, and mishaps so we live from our healthier, happier self.  Many people simply decide that they won’t live their lives regretting past actions, but choose instead to learn from their mistakes, and move their lives in a new direction.  

So regret, contrition, or sorrow are workable and within our power to effect change in our behavior, thinking, and speech.

Here’s how to empower yourself:
​
Own the Regret.   Take time to reflect, but not ruminate on the situation.  With kindness for yourself and acceptance of our human failing, acknowledge your fault and then forgive yourself.  Remind yourself that we are all just doing our best.  No one is perfect and then let it go.  Acceptance helps us grow.  

  • Recognize Repeating Patterns.  Be willing to clearly and openly look at situations that keep repeating in your life.  Analyze them to learn how to avoid similar future situations.  Ask yourself what did I learn?  How will I deal with it the next time around? Why did I react the way I did?  What in me was triggered?  Taking a detached and curious look at our lives will ensure that we aren’t forced to repeat our mistakes and suffer the same regret again.
 
Focus on Your Wishes.  Instead of thinking “if only” or “what if I had…”, instead explore your feelings and wishes through journalling about the life and self you envision for yourself. Becoming clear about your life goals, your values, and ethics will help you live more in alignment with these heartfelt goals.
 
Make Amends. If you are able to, then apologize to the person you feel you’ve harmed. If she/he isn’t around anymore, then you can write a letter expressing your sadness and sorrow.  To symbolically release the regret you could burn the letter.  Think about ways you could atone for your regret by helping other people. For example, if you are regretting not helping your parents more then consider volunteering at an old age home.
 
Regret keeps us trapped in the past.  Living happens in the present.  By overcoming regret, we empower ourselves to reclaim our lives to live in the present moment and bring benefit to ourselves and those around us.

May you free yourself of the past and enjoy every moment this day presents you.

8 Comments
Sam
2/29/2020 21:54:20

Truer words could not be spoken 😘🙏

Reply
Casey link
3/2/2020 18:56:24

Hi Sam,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad the points I made resonated with you.

It's gratifying to know you benefited.

Hugs,
Casey

Reply
Lynne Harvey
3/4/2020 06:08:09

Hello Casey!
Thank you so much for this wonderfully written guide-to-life. I always feel a sense of calm and happiness after reading one of your articles.
I think of you often and smile!
Lynne

Reply
Casey link
3/5/2020 09:04:15

Hi Lynne,
I'm smiling as I write to you now.

Your response gladdens my heart. Knowing you feel happy and peaceful after reading the articles shows me that I'm meeting my objective of providing hope, clarity and a path to freeing ourselves from pain.

I thoroughly enjoy writing these "guide-to-life" articles, and I learn so much from them too.

Thank you for sharing Lynne. I hope you are well.

Hugs
Casey

Reply
Masei Shirkhodaei
3/6/2020 21:36:40

Your blogs have perfect timing! Thank you for the beautiful reminder

Reply
Casey link
3/7/2020 07:46:22

Hi Masei,
Good to know that these articles' timely arrival helps remind us how to negotiate life's challenges.

Thanks for sharing.
Hugs
Casey

Reply
Dominic link
5/30/2022 13:48:42

Hi nice reeading your post

Reply
Casey link
5/31/2022 17:04:47

Hi Dominic,

Thank you for writing. Happy that you found the article helpful.

Casey

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Hi.  
    Thank you for reading.

    I hope these articles are thought provoking and will inspire you to move your life in the direction you most wish it to go.

    I look forward to receiving comments/feedback from you.  Here's to a lively discussion!

    Please share these articles with those who will benefit from them.   
     
    Thank you,
    ​Casey

    P.S.  If you'd like to read my previous years' articles, you can find them on the link below.


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